Often when a relationship ends we tend to assume negative things about the freshly broken up couple. I had a classmate. She dated a guy for 4 years. One fay when I was walking out of my college I asked her about her boyfriend. She replied with “We broke up”. I was stunned. They were one of the strongest couples I knew. Like an idiot I am, I asked her, did he cheat on you? What she said next has stayed with me even though it has been two years. So she says- Not every relationship ends because of cheating.
Very well said, dear friend.
I’ve been cheated on, or should I say cheated off. I’ve been cheated off my ability to trust, my willingness to open up, my ability to get excited for new and worthy relationships the future might hold for me and the respect I had, not only for a partner but for a very close friend. I find it hard most days to engage in conversation with anyone without drifting into a puddle of thoughts about how much we know about our partners and friends. How much can we trust the people we think we can trust. How much that person who tells you to rely on them are worthy of being reliable on. When you trust someone you believe them and you work according to that. You change yourself to become receptive towards them and to be a better person every day. To lose all that in a few texts is like ground shifting beneath one’s feet. For a moment your heart and head are in completely opposite worlds. Your heart is reeling with the storm of emotions while your head is left to deal with the reality.
To cope with this we often rely on our negative thoughts, because you love them you obviously are not ready to believe that they are bad. That they are at fault to go to someone else and expose your relationship to a crack that can never be fulfilled. You end up thinking that you are worthless or not as special as that third person. You compare your body, mind and even your soul with them. You feel like what they call- ‘A Loser’. But if you have friends like me you will know that none of those feelings are true. Your friends are your truth serum. And the faster you gulp that serum down the better off you will be. Believe them when they say that you are not less. That you are as beautiful and special. Believe that no matter what thing you would have done differently it still would’ve ended the same way. Because more often than not, cheating is not about the person who got cheated, it is about the person who chose to cheat.
You never have to and you never should change yourself for anyone. Not just because you are kickass and so beautiful, but also because if you do end up changing yourself for someone, you will end up cheating yourself of who you are. Never love anyone so much that you stop loving yourself. Love of any kind always makes you love yourself more each day. And if that’s not the kind of love you are in right now, maybe you should stop and look and change. I am no one to judge you or your love, But I hope that if what I say is right, It only helps you find the love that you want.
commontalks 